Toe in the water

Well, I went to respond to a post and the next thing I knew I have started a blog.  Kind of surreal.  I have read some of the ones here and realize that most of them started out not knowing what they were doing so I guess I am track there.  
So to begin with I guess I should describe myself.  I am a closeted gay male who is trying to get up the courage to come out to my wife and family.  I stumbled on to blogs that describe similiar trips.  No two are the same.  The do however share similiar features.  Fear being the main one.  I have to say, I am a huge coward.  I have known I was gay for at least 40 years and been married for well over 30 years.  Let me correct that.  Although I knew, I did deny it.  20 years ago I had a therapist tell m that I could "fix" it.  Laughable now.  He had me put a rubber band on my wrist and snap it whenever I had gay thoughts.  Well I was convinced I could change.  I had a regular F*** buddy at the time and told him that we couldn't do that anymore.  Thankfully, he accepted that and we stayed friends.  Thanks to the internet, I have stuck up conversations/friendships with many people all over the world.  My closest two advise against coming out.  They point out I have a lot to lose.  They are right in a financial sense.  But in a mental sense, I think I may have a lot to gain.  Any thoughts along those lines will be appreciated.  Wish me luck.

Skier