Giddy with happiness

Well, it has been two days since the bomb dropped.  Or I guess I could say the bomb proved to be a dud.  Woke up on Saturday and sent her a text asking if I had dreamed the previous night.  She assured me I hadn't.  I again told her she was amazing and she couldn't understand why I think that.  She gave all the correct logical answers as to why she was so okay with it.  But as we all know, people aren't always logical.  Heck, Spock had trouble on occasion.
So, back to friday night, we both agreed we don't know what will happen next.  We will keep all options open for the moment.  We both know I have a year lease.  We both know we are bonded together with a renewed friendship.  We discussed the next two planned vacations.  One to Hawaii at Thanksgiving and the ski trip to Utah next Feb.  We also discussed the fact that at some future time one us may meet Mr. Right.  He will have to accept that we have a unique relationship.  She still doesn't think she will date or find anyone.  I don't see how that will be possible once it is known she is "available"  but that is something for her to deal with she reminded me.  She even said if I found someone, I could bring them on the trips. 

Okay, so now we are up to Saturday.  I slept the best sleep Friday night that I have had in a very long time as you can imagine.  Realized I am a complete idiot at times.  Moved my stuff into new apartment like meds etc.  Forgot clothes.  Which was okay really, I had to go by house to pick up stuff anyway, so, I decided it was time for a haircut and went and got that done.  Knew she was going there for nails etc.  So I hung around to say hello before going and getting my gear.  We have both been going to the same place for years and several knew I had moved out or was getting ready to.  When she came in and gave me a kiss, I'm sure they were more than a bit confused.  But I knew she was headed to spend rest of weekend with our daughter so I wanted to see her before she went.  She appreciated that.

Next step?  Text to daughter to call me.  I was on phone when she did and didn't get to her as soon as she thought I should have.  So, I call her back and she answers the phone with (as only an offspring can do) "What do you want"  Nice, but you with kids know what I mean.  So I told her.  Talk about a non-issue.  So, I'm feeling pretty confident about this coming out stuff.  Called one of the people who went to Sweden with us.  A 30 year old kid I taught to ski, met through my daughter's friends etc.  I call him up to fill him in.  He was amazed.  He also had no clue.  Which amazed me because he was a stripper in a gay club at one time.  He is straight by the way.  Really was almost a non-issue there as well.  Like my daughter, he was just glad Sarah and I weren't about to kill each other anymore.  So he says I have to call another the circle of friends of my daughter's that I am close to.  He had been have stress issues as well and we had talked about them.  Again, no clue.  He was very supportive as well.  Later that night, they all went out to dinner and while there decided to call me and put me on speaker phone.  We had a great time.  For someone of my generation to have such acceptance from kids 30 years younger than me was gratifying to say the least.  Gives me hope for the country to know that young people can be so accepting and willing to give emotional support to this old guy!
So know, I am on a roll.  I decide to go for broke and tell my mother-in-law.  Allow me to digress and tell you about this amazing woman.  She will be 92 later this month.  She has survived Breast Cancer, widowhood and the deaths of two infant children.  She has been better to me than my own mother ever was.  It killed me when she was angry with me over this crap.  So I sat down with her in the kitchen as I have done so many times over the last 40 years.  Wow, it has been a long time!  I said with my eyes starting to brim with tears that I owed her the real reason why I had to move out.  I thought I was gay.  She laughed.  Seriously and looked at me and said "you're not gay"  When I told I was, she said what makes the difference?  Bottom line, she still loves me as well.  I mean damn, if I had known it was going to be that well accepted, I would have done it a long time ago.  Now for any readers of blogs, I am sure you have seen that written many times before.  The only one I havent told yet is my almost 19 year old son.  I think Sarah and I MUST both be there for that.  He isn't one of my fans in the first place.  OTOH, who knows, he my actually feel my pain.  That would show a lot of growth in him and would please both him mom and myself.  Here's hoping.

That brings us to today.  I had a couple of friends who were going to help me unload my van and I was going to fix them the dinner I mentioned in earlier post.  Well they are two young men who work where I eat breakfast most mornings.  They were also going to help me rearrange the furniture in the new place.  They also are chefs.  So here I am going to learn to cook and have first big dinner for two young chefs.  How's that for chutzpah.  Anyway, after the first one got there and I found out the second was going to be awhile, I decided to break the news.  Both because he is a good friend (whom I started teaching skiing to this year and was to go to Sweden this year) and because I didn't want him to be in the position of not knowing if something were ever said.  You know the whole guilt by association thing.  Again, a non-issue.  Which was repeated when his friend got there. 

I am the luckiest person around I think.  I have family that loves me no matter what it seems and friends that also support me.  The saying is so true.  It DOES get better.

I hope that answers Cubby's request for more info.  I am not saying goodbye but I have no clue what to write about since this was my biggest thing in life.  I hope I can help someone else on this journey though.  More than that, I hope with people accepting things, LESS people will have to make this journey.  When I first decided to write, I had no idea what to call my blog.  But it appears my title was spot on.  THANKS TO ALL THE OTHER BLOGGERS.  I don't think this could have happened without each and every one of you.

Kevin